cosmos display only on monitor with some games

[themonster3101]

only recently i have had the problem. some games will display on the main monitor and not the hmd. only 3 so far, moss, down the rabbit hole, hitman 3 vr. tracking seems to work when this happens. the image on th screen will turn with the head set same for controllers. the display in the headset is one of two things. all grey or  a grey ring when i look down a mostly black when looking forward sometimes with a brey arc near the edge. i had tried clearing and resetting everything, going through all the setups and tutorials. Not sure if its relevant but otr advanced setting says "room not set up". i have ran room set up successfully several times and it still says it. everything is up to date and i have a ton of games that work perfectly or at least they used to [i haven't tried every game i ever owned] i first noticed this a couple weeks ago when launching hit man 3 vr. please help driving me nuts. oh no error messages 

vivi cosmos

i9-9900k

2080ti

64g ram